Why don’t men ask out women – Are they too picky?

Lady Libby: Why don’t men ask out women?!!

So the results are in…56% of you voted that men don’t ask out women because THEY DON’T HAVE GUTS! The other 44% of you said MEN ARE TOO PICKY. I’m guessing that the men confessed to having no guts, while most of the women suspected they are too picky. That’s the way Dave and I voted at least. While I do agree with the fact that men usually don’t have enough guts to ask women out, I think the larger problem is that they’re just too darn picky!

My answer: COMPLETE MYTH… But I finally understand a part of it. Women say stuff like “the reason men don’t ask women out is because they’re too picky”… Well, I finally have a little bit of agreement with it. Not by saying its true, but by understanding how women arrived at this ridiculous conclusion.

Here’s what women see: They see guys refusing to ask out out most women, and only asking out super-hot/popular women.

So, the logical conclusion you make as a woman here is “oh, so men are super-picky and that’s why they won’t ask an average woman out”. Well, there is a HYOOOOOGE piece of the puzzle you’re missing here. Your equation fails to take into account the emotional cost of doing the asking out.

Here’s a question to prove it. How many average, single, heterosexual guys would say NO to an average woman asking THEM out? The answer = ZERO. So how can men be picky if they never reject women?

The part you’re missing is that the act of asking out, risking rejection, and all the emotional turmoil associated come at such a huge price. The logic (in our heads) goes like this: Wait, if I am expected to do 100 points of work, and she’s expected to do 0 points of work, then why would I settle for an average woman? If I am expected to go through all this emotional investment to get a date, while she invests 0 points of effort to help the process along… why not go for a woman that’s more attractive than I am?

This is why average guys refuse to ask out anything less than a super-hot woman. If you’re an average woman, and want to date average guys, then invest at least 50% of the effort. Its that simple.