Victims vs. Abusers (Who’s the real victim?)

An amazing piece about how the whole the people who invented the “victim blaming” term, are also in a part using it to promote a victim-culture. A victim culture is where someone is equally involved in abuse, yet rationalizes away their part in the abuse, choosing to label themselves a victim

The Line between Victims and Abusers | Psychology Today

Victim identity is focus on damages suffered at the hands of other people. The desire to be identified as a victim creates a sense of entitlement and a motive to devalue anyone who does not offer special recognition and validation of victim status or compensation for it 

• Underreport, hide, minimize, or justify their abusive behavior

• Describe themselves as victims

• Feel abused when their partners disagree with them or don’t do what they want

• Label their partners’ behavior as abusive

• Attribute malevolent intent to their partners’ positive behavior (manipulative, deceptive)

• Pathologize their partners (emotional or personality disorder, incompetence)

• Use negative labels (nag, irrational, hysterical, lazy, unreliable)

• Have great difficulty describing their partners’ perspectives

• Show little or no compassion

• Exhibit self-righteousness

Research and clinical evidence traditionally has shown that victims were likely to:

• Underreport or hide their partners’ abusive behavior
• Not label obviously abusive behavior as abuse
• Blame themselves in part for the abuse they reveal
• Make excuses for the abuser’s behavior
• Bend over backwards to see the abuser’s perspective
• Describe the abuser at least partially in sympathetic terms
• Exhibit self-doubt

Comments on “The Line between Victims and Abusers” | Psychology Today

The victim’s basic stance is that he or she:
1. Is not responsible for what happened.
2. Is always morally right.
3. Is not accountable.
4. Is forever entitled to sympathy.
5. Is justified in feeling moral indignation for being wronged.