AlekNovy

An amazing piece about how the whole the people who invented the “victim blaming” term, are also in a part using it to promote a victim-culture. A victim culture is where someone is equally involved in abuse, yet rationalizes away their part in the abuse, choosing to label themselves a victim

The Line between Victims and Abusers | Psychology Today

Victim identity is focus on damages suffered at the hands of other people. The desire to be identified as a victim creates a sense of entitlement and a motive to devalue anyone who does not offer special recognition and validation of victim status or compensation for it

• Underreport, hide, minimize, or justify their abusive behavior

• Describe themselves as victims

• Feel abused when their partners disagree with them or don’t do what they want

• Label their partners’ behavior as abusive

• Attribute malevolent intent to their partners’ positive behavior (manipulative, deceptive)

• Pathologize their partners (emotional or personality disorder, incompetence)

• Use negative labels (nag, irrational, hysterical, lazy, unreliable)

• Have great difficulty describing their partners’ perspectives

• Show little or no compassion

• Exhibit self-righteousness

Research and clinical evidence traditionally has shown that victims were likely to:

• Underreport or hide their partners’ abusive behavior
• Not label obviously abusive behavior as abuse
• Blame themselves in part for the abuse they reveal
• Make excuses for the abuser’s behavior
• Bend over backwards to see the abuser’s perspective
• Describe the abuser at least partially in sympathetic terms
• Exhibit self-doubt

Comments on “The Line between Victims and Abusers” | Psychology Today

The victim’s basic stance is that he or she: 1. Is not responsible for what happened. 2. Is always morally right.3. Is not accountable.4. Is forever entitled to sympathy. 5. Is justified in feeling moral indignation for being wronged.

Brains Hard-Wired to Hate Losing | LiveScience

Competitive types who get a buzz from climbing the social ladder also feel more pain when they plummet to a lesser rung. That’s according to new research suggesting our brains are hard-wired for hierarchy.

Brains Hard-Wired to Hate Losing | LiveScience

Turns out, the “high” that a person feels at the top of the hierarchy can turn into a major downer at the bottom. Individuals who reported more elation while at the top also showed increased activity in the brain’s emotional-pain circuitry when they performed worse than another player, threatening their status.

Apparently love is bio-chemically stronger than sex… Or the drive for it

Love More Powerful than Sex, Study Claims | LiveScience

The processing of romantic feelings involves a “constellation of neural systems.” The researchers — neuroscientists, anthropologists and social psychologists — declare love the clear winner versus sex in terms of its power over the human mind.

“Romantic love is one of the most powerful of all human experiences,” said study member Helen Fisher, an anthropologist at Rutgers University. “It is definitely more powerful than the sex drive.”

Fisher said the study might suggest some of the physiology of stalking behavior. Other studies suggest that up to 40 percent of people who are rejected in love slip into clinical depression, she said.

“Rejected men and women in societies around the world sometimes kill themselves or someone else,” Fisher said. (George Sodini anyone?)

A piece on why dating is harder in new-york than in a smaller town. Now… there’s a ton of leaps in logic in this piece, and I’m not sure I agree with it, I’m just putting it out there.

Why Dating Is Difficult in New York (or London) | Psychology Today

While it is often difficult to estimate the precise number of lifetime potential mates that a woman will encounter in her life, it is safe to assume that she will encounter many more in a large metropolis than in a small town. This can therefore explain why women remain single longer and marry later in New York than in Ames, and, in general, why women in urban areas (with a greater number of potential mates) remain single and marry later than women in rural areas (with a smaller number of potential mates)

Why Are We Surprised? | Psychology Today

And Elin Nordegren and other “wronged wives” cannot really complain about their husbands’ affairs. As I explain in an earlier post, it’s not like women want their husbands to cheat on them, but then it’s not like they don’t want them to cheat on them either. They have chosen to marry the men precisely because they are the type of men who would cheat on their wives. If they were the kind of men who wouldn’t (and, more importantly, couldn’t), then they would not have been attractive enough for the wives to marry.

This paragraph captures the essence so well… No wonder women are so confused about their attraction to “bad boys”. On the one hand, the “bad boy” will give you “sexy sons”, i.e guys who can go around copulate a lot (hence promoting YOUR genes and giving you more grandsons). On the other hand, bad boys go around and copulate with a lot of other women (because they can).

Any wonder why the best sold story of all time is the romance novel? Any wonder the story is ALWAYS a woman meeting a “bad boy” and taming him? That’s like having your cake and eating it too!!! You get the guy who’s genetically gifted enough to copulate with everything in sight, but you manage to tame him and prevent him from doing it with anyone except you. Wow, you get sexy sons (who’ll copulate with everything in sight, coz of the badboy gene they got from tamed daddy).

Its also covered in a separate piece called “Do married women want their husbands to cheat“

Satoshi Kanazawa is some I really love. He’s like the king of non-political-correctness and just takes what we intuitively know, don’t dare talk about and turns it into science. Now evolutionary psychology is very new, and very theoretical which leads the PC folks and the deniers of human nature to bash it a lot, but its got very solid evidence as well.

One of my favorite pieces from Kanazawa is in how every man’s decisions are in a big part unconciously lead by procreation drives.
Either to get more, better offspring (which you do by attracting more attractive women).

Why Are We Surprised? | Psychology Today

To recap everything I have said in the last two years on this blog, men do everything they do in order to get laid (Read Part I, Part II, Part III, Part IV, Part V, Part VI).  This is mostly unconscious on the part of the men; they don’t necessarily know that they do everything they do in order to get laid.  They consciously think that they want to attain the highest political office in the state or in the country; they want to become a successful businessman and make more money than anyone else; they want to practice and play hard so that they can become the best in their sport; they want to make America laugh so that they become the most successful entertainer.  Men want to do these things because they are evolutionarily designed to compete and achieve, and, when they do, women seek them out as sexual partners.

A very interesting comment someone (john) posted over on a simplyanne’s blog. It rips apart commong female myths and complaints about men.

Where have all the good men gone? « All About a Girl

Men are too threatened by a successful woman

Men are all too aware that women judge men on their occupation, assets and are interested in men of equal or higher status than them, not lower. Seems to me that men are being realistic, not intimidated. However these successful women may consider that the higher up the ladder they go, the less men of same or higher status there are. Conversely, men of high status (by women’s standards) have the largest choice of women available. Their only asset he is interested in: feminine beauty

·Men’s ego is their most fragile instrument

Women’s egos are just as fragile. When men put women up on a pedestal their egos inflate like a hot air balloon. However if men are indifferent and make humorous fun of women, they keep coming back for more.

·Men are so frightened of our rejection that they can’t be men

Actually, they are men just protecting themselves; they’re just not taking advantage of being indifferent and making humorous fun of you.

·I can’t change a man – without getting him ready for the next woman

You have no right to change a man, as he has none to change you. If a man ALLOWS you to change him, you will not respect him because you can control him. If you cannot change a man, well….maybe you were attracted to his strong sense of individualism in the first place???????
Oh, and do you think that the next woman wants your wussie “changed man” after you have chewed him and spat him out???????

·Men want to cohabitate with us but don’t want to marry us

Men don’t want to make the ultimate commitment to you. Maybe they are not sure you are marriage material. Maybe there is something you could do to change that. Maybe it is not our problem….but yours.

·When I take the initiative men back off

Could be many reasons why, but is probably just a bit of what men routinely face in the dating game….REJECTION.

·Men won’t listen

Men do listen, they do not listen and respond in the way your girlfriends do. We are not women, we are men. If you get a chance to observe two or more men interacting with each other, you might learn something.

·Men can’t get in touch with their feelings

Men are very in touch with their feelings. In fact men do not have to express their feelings all the time to others to validate them. When observing men interacting, you will notice when a man expresses his “feelings” to another, the respondent will reply with a solution to the problem, that’s what negative feelings are to a man, a problem to be solved.

Women… well I’m a man and I’m not supposed to understand their complexities but heres a guess: feelings are drama and entertainment, like a soap opera, they are analyzed and expound upon until another dramatic feeling comes along.

Unfortunately if a man expresses his feelings to a woman too much, he will be accused of being a wuss, Damned if ya do, damned if ya don’t, eh.

·50% of men already in relationships cheat

And what percentages of women cheat? Are there a small group of extremely promiscuous women out there tempting these men or are you women going to take some of the responsibility for this problem?

·After he says “your special” I never see him again

What, was this before or after you’d had sex? Actions speak louder than words. Women have a version of this to let men know they are not interested in going further: “lets just be friends”

· Men have so few friends

In comparison to what, women? Do you want us to be like you or something? You could add us to your girly friends list when we do!

·“Girly” magazines are so big with men

Cleo, Cosmo, romance novels, soap operas etc get your juices going too! Do I have to say it again….do you want us to be like you or something?

·Men can’t ask for help

….wheres that dependant wuss boyfriend of yours when you need him to fix the car….

Men like a challenge and will try to do it on their own, before getting help if they need to. Stop trying to negate a positive masculine trait that you occasionally find annoying, when mostly….you love it, eh.

….he’s asking the sexy, masculine neighbor for help.

·Men spend too much time watching sports even when they say they want more time with their families

What is “time with their families” anyway? What women want to do? What is too much sports? 5, 4, 3, 2, 1 hour, 30 minutes a day, or the big game on Saturday? How about women watch to much soap operas, Dr Phil, Oprah, spend too much time on the phone gossiping etc etc etc.

Maybe watching sports with their sons could be “time with family? Maybe men work more hours than women and so have less “time with family” As long as he doesn’t annoy you when you are gossiping to your friends on the phone, you could stop nagging him when he is watching sports.

·Men can’t let a friendship develop and then if sex happens, it happens

Because men know if a woman classifies him as a friend, it’ll never happen!………and I’m a male explaining female behaviour to a female HAHA!

·When I’m with a man I see his open and vulnerable parts. And then when he gets around other men, he closes them off.

That is because you have accepted him as a masculine man and for your relationship to develop he shows his softer side to you. Unless he is gay, he has no need to show this to other men. What advantage could he possibly get from showing his vulnerable side to other men? From other men is how he shaped his masculinity, of which you were attracted to first place. If he showed his vulnerability to everyone and their dog, he would not be valued as a man, not even by you….men do on occasion, show their vulnerable side to select men they trust, but is only to fix a problem and find a solution, otherwise there is no reason to do so. This is something that you are not privy to because it is male territory and frankly, as a woman is not your concern.

·Men are so preoccupied with their jobs even when they’re losing contact with their family

Men are the providers and don’t bother with feminist doctrine about equality. If a man does not have an income or assets, he is not valued by society. They are so preoccupied with their jobs BECAUSE OF THEIR FAMILY!!!!!!!!!!!!

·Men are like little boys underneath
We all have an “inner child” eh?

·Men contempt for women on one hand (witness their jokes) and put them on a pedestal on the other hand

Some men put women on a pedestal and others have a healthy humorous indifference about women. Nice guy or seducer, which one gets your juices flowing?

·Men are “just desserts” but I’m willing to give up so much for a little banana split

So what did you have for your main course? Maybe you just prefer shopping to men? Is it your self-respect that you are so willing to give up? You must make very silly CHOICES when it comes to men. However if you do not want to take responsibility for your choice in men, repeat ten times: MEN ARE ALL BASTARDS!

·Men rape

Yes and we are all capable of it, though few take advantage of it.

However women can and do, with no evidence, accuse men of rape, their careers, reputation gone and their personal life in tatters, even before the false allegation gets to court.

·Men are just interested in conquest – that’s the real excitement for men

Is this not how we came to live in the standard we now live in? Men like a challenge and men built buildings, infrastructure, government, sciences, inventions etc etc etc. Is this a criticism or are you giving us a compliment!

·Men always feel they have to promise love even when they’re not in love

Do you require they say they love you before you will sleep with them?

All men want to fuck; some men will say they love you in the hope of getting a fuck, even when they don’t. Honest men will tell you they want to fuck.

·Women earn only 59% of what a men earns even when their contribution is “indispensable”

WTF, more feminist doctrine. When women have children, they either don’t work or work less than men in paid employment. Women also CHOOSE to work in occupations that don’t pay as well. This is why women earn less than men, because men are supporting them.

Think about this, a man and a woman in a job interview with the same experience and qualifications as each other, the man will cost the employer 41 percent more to employ….NO EMPLOYER WOULD EVER HIRE A MAN!

·Men have power and they don’t want to give it up

More feminist propaganda. A small minority of men has the power; most men have no option but to shovel the shit to feed their families.

·Men can’t admit it when they’re wrong
And some women have this stubborn habit too.

·I’m an attractive woman. I have lots of options.
Yet so many men I end up with are insensitive.

So, the more attractive a woman is, the more she requires sensitivity in men? I thought they left the wussies for the ugly girls with no options

·My father criticized me too often

My mother criticized me too often. I think she saw things in a different way because she was female and I was male….maybe you could have a think about that.

·Men are so paranoid about homosexuality
Are you attracted to homosexual (and I’m not referring to your fantasy of being so sexy that you manage to seduce a gay man straight) effeminate men?

·I’d like to be able to get lovey-dovey without necessarily leading to intercourse, but that’s too much to ask from a man

I’d like to have intercourse with a woman without it leading to getting lovey-dovey, but that’s too much to ask from a woman.

·When I meet a man I often think he’s wonderful—I tell all my women friends and I’m elated; then he disappoints me once, then twice. Before I know it I think he’s a jerk. Yet I’m still tempted to stay with him.

Well, if he had disappointed you by not disappointing you, he would have been such a “nice guy” that you would have just wanted to “be friends”.

·Male leaders get into too many wars (it would be different if a women led)

“In response to the invasion, the British government under Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher declares a war zone for 200 miles (320 km) around the Falklands, assembles a naval task force with which to retake the islands, and launches long range air attacks from the mid-Atlantic Ascension island on the airfield in Port Stanley to disrupt the flow of supplies to the Argentine forces.

From start to finish, this strange undeclared war lasted 72 days, claimed about 1000 casualties, and had a cost of at least 2 billion dollars. From a political point of view, it secured the reelection of Margaret Thatcher”. source:http://www.ability.org.uk/falklands-war.html

·Men who aren’t macho are often.. well….Wimps

If we are aloof and indifferent, you complain we aren’t open enough. If we get all open and touchy feely, you complain we are acting like wimps.
As women try to compete with men, men should poke fun at them. when women realize they can never compete, men will throw women a bit of sensitivity….when they’ve earned it.
As for wussies or wimps, they just need to unlearn all the feminazi propaganda that has deeply infiltrated western society.

·Men are afraid of commitment

Men are less likely to commit if women continue to give away what men want willy-nilly. We thought you preferred wild anonymous sex too! If they do commit they are afraid that the woman will separate, taking the kids, assets, and a percentage of his income until the kids are adults….now what are the advantages of commitment for a man then, eh?

·If I could wish anything from my relationship with a man, it would be to have more honesty
What, you want him to be more honest than you are with him?

·There are no men who are sensitive and strong—who are not already taken up

I think maybe you have climbed far too high up corporate ladder. Remember women “marry up” and men “marry down”

There are many men who are far stronger than their bank balances but you are not interested in them, eh?

·Men and women are so against each other

Its good you’re taking some responsibility.

·Men can’t see the forest for their ego’s

Women can’t see the forest for their sense of entitlement. Women have a sense of entitlement because they think they are a special gender. Women think they are a special gender because their egos have become much too inflated, eh.

Broadsheet – Salon.com

Beyond the desperate scramble to deliver basic aid to the people of quake-ravaged Haiti, there are attempts under way to specifically help women and children.

This is so fucked up, that I won’t even comment on it. Feminist groups are fighting to prioritize the saving of women in Haiti, and disasters in general.

Some times I wish I was making this stuff up. When I retell these stories to friends, they think I’m making them up. Until you point them to Reuters or CNN and see its true, and not april’s fools.

One of these WTF stories is the following one – Mexico is making it a crime to not show your wife love and other good feelings, and making it illegal to be jealous of your wife… Ya… Again, this is NOT a joke.

Jealous husbands may face trial in court | Reuters

Perez Duarte said indifference, jealousy or lack of love were crimes against women just as much as physical violence.

“Jealousy produces a particular type of stress in the person that comes up against it,” she said. “It is exactly the same. They are wounds, psychological scars identical to physical scars.”